Friday, July 20, 2012

This week has been burdened with deeply buried emotions for me.

Generally I am not an emotional person. I tend to just forget them and move on. I mean I do not let my emotions sway me from what ever it is I need to do. I have a difficult time handling emotions in those around me. I tend not to empathize with those who get emotional especially over small things. I can see it in case of a death and so on but not say letting what some one says about you cause you grief.

OK so as you may remember my mil passed in 2011. She and I had a.. strained relationship. I never felt comfortable with her. I always felt she thought I wanted her "stuff". I didn't. I wanted a mother figure to help me learn the ropes of wifehood. That was not to be and so goes life.

Well I got a call Tuesday that fil was dividing up her estate and I was to come get books if I wanted them.

So I went. I was floored when I was pointed to a large set of glassware and told, "dad says you get frist right of refusal on these, do you want them?". They are not expensive but they are really pretty goblets of dark blue and some in purple. I had always thought how pretty they were. I asked if they had asked my other sil T if she wanted them and was told "No dad says you get to pick first".

Now I NEVER go first. I always strive to be last to be certain others have gotten what they wanted before I pick anything. That did not fly on Tuesday.

As I was wrapping and boxing the glass ware (actually when you plink them they ring more like crystal instead of thunk like glass) Anyway I hear my fil holler, Melissa! Melissa! Thinking he had hurt himself making breakfast I rushed in the kitchen. "Go in the pantry he says. Turn on the light, see those cook books? Take any or all of them you want". I look and there are no cook books... BIL comes in and says "Dad what do you have her looking for?" Dad says the cook books. Bil says I already told you I moved them... So I am led to a room and told go through this shelf unit and take all you want. I asked again about T and was told "No dad says you first".

As I went through the books it occurred to me how much my mil and I had in common. We could have been so close, I could have learned so much if she had let me.  I managed to keep my cool until I got home. Then I sat in my chair and cried.

Yesterday we got the furniture from her estate that fil had designated for us. To me he awarded a beautiful corner cabinet. He bought it years ago in a little run down shop. It was in bad shape and he talked the owner down to $25. He reclaimed it and made it beautiful again. It took him 4 days. I have always loved it, not just for its beauty but because HE fixed it and put a lot of himself into it. It is to me an heirloom.

Beloved received her computer desk and bookcases. There is a small desk that will come to me probably next week. Perfect for my sewing room.

This is the cabinet, empty. I will take pictures tomorrow of it with my dishes in it.

It looks as if it was built for my house!

Hugs Y'all

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