My b-day is coming up. Every year I get to feeling sort of down at this point.
I am not sure what it is. I do not feel older, I still enjoy things I did when younger.
A selfish part of me I guess wonders why no one remembers. It is not the gifts. (I love gifts but I don't expect them kwim?)
Part of me looks at my place in life and gets discouraged. I want to be totally debt free and I am not. (Close but not there yet) I want to have people over and cook for them, but I do not. (Beloved is not comfortable with the house)
I want trees in my yard and rose bushes and such. I have not got the stamina though to dig the holes and so those things do not get done.
My goodness I am so whiny! I despise whiny and yet I feel so blue!
On the other side, I am blessed with a hubby that loves me enough to come home nights, he doesn't drink or gamble. My boys are smart, successful and straight arrows, no drugs or anything.
The insurance finally settled and we should have the check soon to catch up on our bills.
I have a humble shack but I LOVE it.
I know I have much to be thankful for and I thank God everyday for those things and people.
Still I miss the days when a birthday meant a gathering of family and friends over a nice lasagna meal followed by cake and ice cream.
It just isn't as much fun inviting folks over for yourself, kwim?
Hugs y'all
Oh do I totally understand, dear friend....but what you should do is shout it from the rooftops and make sure everyone knows...it doesn't matter how they get there, dear friend, but rather that they get there :) And always wear purple.
ReplyDeleteHugs and kisses
G/BBB,
ReplyDeleteI would like to offer you some encouragement by telling you that I also despise whining (just ask my girls) but find that I am not immune to it. I can wake up on an ordinary day and find myself whining all day by wondering why I have to live in this run-down house that I can't afford to fix up, why do I have to drive an 8-yr old car and why am I not able to afford to buy my girls all the things that I want to. But inevitably, on those bad days, at the end of the day as I crawl into my big, comfy bed at night, I find myself praising God for the blessings in my life and asking forgiveness for my bad attitude and then realizing that I may live in a dumpy old house, but at least I have a roof over my head when so many others do not. And I may not have a fancy new car or lots of money to buy things for my girls, but I do have a car that runs great and my husband has a good job that allows me to be able to stay at home and raise our daughters.
But honestly, I think we all have those days.
I hope you are able to enjoy your birthday and have a good time with your loved ones!
Just stopping in to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
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