Some times...

Some times you just feel down. OK maybe you do not but I do. Some times is lasts 1 day some times more.

My doctor calls it situational stress. Stress that comes from things going on in my life at the time.  This episode is mild. I am not messing up my speech (though my typing still stinks!) The last episode was bad. My doctor heard it in my voice and saw it in my face before I had said anything. She demanded to know what was going on. The end result was she told me to quit my job, stop letting the truck repair people give me the run around and help my kids get a place of their own. 

All of that is done. Yet today I still felt sad and melancholy. A friend suggests that now I have a whole new level of stress. A different kind of stress. This one I can't just quit or make demands on. This stress will most likely be with me the rest of my life. It will be that way because the issue is my Beloved's health. The challenges we face now, we will face together no doubt. The only thing I can do with them is pray through them. 

I guess the reason I felt the need to write about this is, it is normal. Everyone has some kind of stress in their life. We all have different ways of dealing with it. My way is ignore and pray.  My last doctor, before my cancer, put me on anxiety meds. They did not help. Since most of my issues are from external stress not internal stress. This is stress caused by my surroundings, or circumstances. A pill can not fix external stress. Now there are some internal stresses that pills may be able to help. 

The issue I see often is, sometimes folks look to fixing the symptoms. Like my doctor said, get the stress out of your life. For me, at this point I need to change my thinking, learn acceptance. After all this time, I can not just get rid of the situation. So something has to change. This time it is me that has to bend.

Prayer, it sounds like such a simple thing. When things go wrong Christians often tell you to pray about it. Praying isn't just so easy. You have to believe in what you are asking for. You have to have Faith that God will act. Not necessarily for what you want, not that God will follow our commands. Our need is to pray for what God wants to do in our lives. We have to stand back. As my dear friend Ann once said, pray then get out of the way.

So dear friends, I am learning an new path. I mean I always pray, I trust God for my life. Now I need to stand back and let the spirit pray, because honestly on days like today, I have no clue what to say. 

hugs y'all